Turnéhistorier

[HoboRec]

Tänkte att eftersom det är väldigt mycket musiker inom många olika genrer här på forumet, kunde det vara lite roligt att utbyta historier och händelser från vägarna. Jag tar initiativet och drar en från i somras.

Vi var på turné i balkan med ett av mina band, Scorched Earth, och vi skulle från Zagreb i Kroatien till Sombor i Serbien. Det blev ganska sent och festligt i Zagreb men vägen var inte så jättelång, och vi kom iväg så vi hade skapligt med tid. När vi kom till gränsen så blev vi först stannade på Kroatiska sidan där de började leta efter knark och plockade ut instrument och allt möjligt ur bilen. Efter mycket om och men kom vi igenom till nästa stop som var Serbiska sidan. Där blev vi vinkade till sidan och de bad oss öppna bakluckan där det var som en vägg av grejer från golv till tak. Gränspolisen suckade högt och vi anade att det skulle bli problem. De ville ha dokument för import av instruent osv (ata carnet), vilket vi inte hade för det var för dyrt att köpa till varje land. Vi hade ett annat papper som vi hittat på själva och fått stämplat i Slovenien så det såg hyfsat officiellt ut. Men sen fick tullaren syn på hunden vi hade med oss och vägrade släppa in oss. Detta efter en timmes tjafs, tömning och återpackning av bilen. Trotts att vi hade internationellt pass och papper för hunden så vägrade de släppa in oss. Vi fick åka tillbaka till Kroatien igen och ringde kvällens arrangör som sa åt oss att åka till en gräns ett par mil söder ut. Vi började bli sena och trodde inte vi skulle hinna till spelningen med tanke på att det nyss tagit nästan två timmar att inte komma in i Serbien. När vi kom till den sydligare gränsstationen kollade de våra pass, log och önskade oss välkomna. Det tog ungefär fem minuter att både komma ut ur Kroatien och in i Serbien. När vi väl kom fram till Sombor, en timme sena, blev vi presenterade för en gigantiskt man i Brutal Truth t-shirt. Det visade sig att han jobbade som gräspolis på den station vi just kommit igenom. Han hade ringt dit och sagt åt dom att när det kom en minibuss med svenskar som såg ut att spela rock n roll skulle de bara släppa igenom oss. De gjorde som han sa eftersom hade tydligen hade ganska hög rang inom polisen efter att ha varit i kriget. "My name Stanko! I'm border police and I love death metal!"

Hade aldrig trott att man som punkband skulle få sina problem lösta av polisen. Särskilt inte i Serbien.

Nån annan som har något minnesvärt att berätta? =)

[torpedoerik]

Kul tråd!

Fler polishistorier men denna gång förflyttar vi oss västerut.

Turné i Tyskland 2006. Fotbolls-vm runt hörnet och därmed skärpt bevakning i nästan hela Tyskland och speciellt i de södra regionerna runt Bayern.

Vi skumpade runt i en tysk van hyrd från firma som var sponsrad av Thrashmark, den tyska merchfirman med ett dödskalle som logotyp. Bilen skriker rockband.

Blir stannade på autobahn för rutinkoll av rockbil. Drogjakt helt enkelt.

Fyra ganska bittra konstaplar vill veta om det finns droger i bilen och får ett ringande "nein" tillbaka i svar men dom tycker att dom ska kolla igenom bilen ändå. Alla kände sig ändå hyfsat safe, vi har aldrig varit några drogkonsumenter förutom att det har rökts gräs någon gång när det bjudits. Men det är inget som det släpats runt på. Bussen var mest full med snickerspapper och söndagsbilagor.

Så förvåningen blev stor när en av herrarna i grönt och beigt fick span på något runt och plastigt som han tyckte såg misstänkt ut. Ett "was is das" senare såg vi att han hittat en snusdosa. Full med döda snus (alltså använda. jag slänger mig med brukartermer här). Minen när dosan öppnas och konstaplarna luktar på snusen kommer jag sent att glömma. Den totala avskyn inför doften av blöt, gammal tobak.

Efter standardförklaringen om snus (it's swedish tobacco. you have to put it under your lip. No, the upper lip) så blev vi ivägskickade med den fantastiska kommentaren på extremt tyskbruten och lite besviken engelska: waz kind of rock n' roll band are you, not carrying any drugs?

[Guitar Nilsson]

Det här blir bästa tråden på länge...

[drloop (oregistrerad)]

Oj, här vågar jag inte skriva nåt... Jag är glad att mina turnéerfarenheter stannar inom bandet.

[torpedoerik]

Jamen jag drar en till då. Det här får räknas som turnéhistoria.

Hade spelat på Skellefteå Festivalen en sommar ca 2006-2007 och dagen efter skulle vi spela på Arvika Festivalen vilket enligt alla logistiska lagar innebär flyg till Arlanda för upphämtning och vidare med bil till Värmland.

Står vid bagagebandet på Arlanda och väntar på lite instrument och väskor när en lite äldre herre i kakhi-shorts och hawaii-skjorta kommer fram och börjar prata med mig.

Äldre herre - What's the name of your band?

Jag - Sorry what?

ÄH - The name of your band? What is it?

J - Tiger Lou

ÄH - Ah ok.

Vid den här tidpunkten börjar jag känna igen herren men kan inte riktigt placera honom.

ÄH - Released any records in the US?

J - Yes. One.

ÄH - What's your label?

J - Eyeball Records. From New Jersey.

ÄH - Ok. Who's your distributor?

J - Eeeh? No idea.

ÄH - You don't know?

J - Eeeh... no I'm sorry. No idea.

Vid det här laget känner jag igen karln och får lite halvpanik eftersom han är känd för att inte vara helt psykisktstabil.

Han knackar mig på axeln med pekfingret (på det där väldigt bestämda, påpekande sättet) och säger:

ÄH - You got to know your distribution!

J - Eeeh. Yes. Sorry. I know.

ÄH - Take it from me. I'm Brian Wilson from The Beach Boys.

[sixties]

här är turnedagboken Classe som körde oss (Dissober) på polen turne på 90-talet skrev i Piemag.

06 nov 2007

Dissober Fucks With Poland - Tour diary Pie Mag 9

This is a pretty crappy translation of the Dissober Poland tourdiary that was originally printed in issue 9 of Swedens PIE MAG under the title "Dissober fucks with Poland !". It was penned by the bands faithful driver Classe who gets top points for remembering it all through all the cold nights and all the hungovers. In Swedish, his story is really funny but I found it pretty tricky to translate it but anyway, read on and I assure you that you´ll at least have a laugh or two ...

Foreword:

Almost all of my friends shook their heads sceptically when I told them that I was gonna drive Dissober on their Poland tour. "Drive around those drunks, and in Poland of all places where the vodka is more or less free?". Not many people were positive but luckily I´ve never cared much about what other people think and what they feared would turn into a 10 day nightmare turned out to be a very nice experience and story ...

Day 1

After a long night on the boat where we and 50 Polish truck drivers were the only ones that hung out in the nightclub we arrived at Swinoujscie at seven o´ clock in the morning. Outside the ferry terminal we met up with the Polish tourorganizer Bart. Bart looked a little bit dissapointed when the politically correct crustpunks he had seen on the promotion photo Dahlberg sent him (which was an old pic of the legendary swedish punks SVART PARAD !) turned out to be a mob consisting of overweight metalheads. Anyway, he politely shook our hands and we got into the minibus to drive down to Szczecin where the first gig was to take place. In Szczecin we went on a city tour and ate a meal at Pizza Hut before we went to the gig place, a giant ex-communist youth centre, to start drinking beer. Not before long Bart, who obviously couldn´t take much, fell asleep. About the same time the beer started to run out for us so we went down to the local store to get some more. We got back just in time to see Bart get thrown out of the backstageroom by an angry Polish woman who was barking like a dog. We understood nothing until a Pole told us that Bart had woken up, got up on the backstage table and started pissing, that's why the woman was so mad. We all thought it was highly amusing of course and Bart was greeted with enthusiastic cheers and applause when he after a while was allowed to come back again. Soon it was time for the Dissober boys to enter the stage and the tour premiere went good despite the crowd control barrier in front of the stage. After the gig we got on a streetcar to go to the apartment where we were going to spend the night. Of course there was a big party in the apartment where a Pole was dumb enough to challenge Koskinen for a vodka shot race which resulted in that the Pole got pissed out of his head and puked on Forsbergs leatherjacket. The Pole, who followed us on the entire tour, was rapidly renamed from Gregorscz or something to the much more suitable Vodkaman.

Day 2

Todays gig was in the Vodkamans hometown Slupsk. We started the day by going home to the Vodkaman where we got served some kind of cabbage for dinner. We were deeply astonished by the fact that the Vodkamans dad was sitting in the livingroom watching a TV set with such a blurred and grainy picture that you could suspect that the transmitter was located far beyond the Ural Mountains. When we had finished eating we went to the gig place where Bart explained to me that I had to be sober since we should spend the night in a town 15 km away from Slupsk. After awhile the supportband TOXIC BONKERS showed up and started playing after a brief soundcheck. None of us had thought that a Polish crustband would be any good but the Bonkers turned out to be very tight and really great. Dissober was obviously taken by surprise and wondered how the hell they were gonna follow up such a killer gig. But it soon became apparent that everyone had shown up to see the Swedish rockstars and Thölin put on such a show that he fell off the stage without missing a note on his bass, something the Poles were mighty impressed by. Upfront there was a guy who obviously was totally into MOB 47 who kept yelling "Mob fourty fucking seven!" throughout the entire concert. After the gig we packed our gear into the minibus and drove off to the city where we were gonna sleep. At the aftershow party there was a weird hippie Pole who immediately laid his hands on Forsberg snaredrum and kept on playing bongostyle drums all through the night. We also noticed that the DISSOBER/TOXIC BONKERS tour had a full page on Polsh teletext, something that made us so glad that we had to take a photo of the TV screen.

Day 3

Olszcyn was the next stop on the tour. For the first time the concert was at a real rockpub which meant that the place sold beer, something that was much appriciated by the touring crew. Tonights performance was not on a stage but on the floor right before a couple of benchs where people were sitting down for the entire show. Behind the benches people went bananas but up front the deal obviously was to sit down because when one guy in the front got on his feet to do a little dancing Bart immediately gave him a good blow up and told him to sit down. After the gig alot of people followed us to the afterparty where we drank vodka and listened to HAVOHEJ for the rest of the evening. During the night Micke threw one of Dahlbergs beloved CD´s into the wall so that plastic was flying all over the room, something that of course led to that the music lover Dahlberg saw red.

Day 4

We woke up staring straight into a video camera lens. It turned out that our host wanted to perpetuate our visit and he spent the entire morning running around filming us from all angles. After he had given us all a free VADER photo we had to say thanks and get on the road north towards the Russian border and Bartoszyce. The trip was made on unplowed forest roads and the little more than 70 km took us over 2 hours to drive. Once in Bartoszyce we went straight to the central parts to get us a couple of litres of smuggled Russian vodka that we got at the reasonable price 30 Skr (4 dollars) per litre. When we have solved the drinking question we got back to the gig place which was the personel dining room at a factory. We didn´t have anything else to do than start drinking vodka and since it was only 2 o´ clock we had the time to drink quite alot before the gig, especially Micke who fell asleep right before we were to enter the stage. Bart and the local organizer got really nervous and started running around like dizzy geese swearing in Polish all the time. Their nervousness proved unwarranted as Micke woke up and performed the gig in an outstanding fashion.He was about to fall off the stage at several occations and on the last song he stagedived off the stage and crowdsurfed on the audience. After the show we went to the squat where we were about to spend the night. The temperature in this place was around zero so you had to wear your outdoor clothes indoors. The night degenerated into one of the worst drunken battles of the entire tour and myself I fell aslepp around midnight while the others, or at least Thölin and Micke, kept partying all night. A Polish punker with thick bottles for glasses who earlier the same night had tried to impress us by wielding karate sticks into his own face even managed to put out the light in the entire building. The four-eyed punker was about to connect a radiator of standard Polish quality when he slipped and got his finger in the radiator. A sharp bang was heard from the fuse cabinet.

Day 5

Woke up at 7 o´ clock in the morning with completely numb feet. The other guys were also shivering so we decided to get on the road immediately. We didn´t make it long though before I had to stop the bus and get out and puke. We kept on driving but after 10 km we had to stop again. This time it was Bart who had to empty his stomach and we got out to applaud him and take photos for the family album, well all except Micke got out since he was lying in the back of the bus puking into a plastic bag. The rest of trip down to our destination Warszaw passed without incidents except that I happened to break the right mirror when I didn´t keep the right distance when passing a car. We also drove past the concentration camp Treblinka where 800 000 people lost their lives during World War II. Definitely the tours most harrowing experience. It took us a couple of hours until we found our way to the concert place since Warzaw is a pretty big city. When we had parked the bus we decided to go and get us some vodka. Bart told us to look out for the "disco machos" who apparently was hiding in the bushes in the park where the gigplce was. We didn´t see any of them and we got back scot-free with our vodka bottles. The gig in Warzaw was the worst on the whole tour. The audience, that wasn´t very big, just stood there with their arms crossed without an intimation to move. After the show all in the audience left the place, something that happend after every show, in Poland people obviously don´t hang around after the bands have finished, they go home to their nests. In this place it didn´t matter that much since the owner ran an illicit club after the show so people kept on walking in all through the night even though it was tuesday.

Day 6

The next gig was in Lodz, Toxic Bonkers hometown. The distance between Warzaw and Lodz was only 100 km so we drove there in little more than 1 hour. We started by walking around in the central parts under guidance by Toxic Bonkers. When we thought we had seen enough of the city we got on a streetcar and went back to the concert place. In the squat (the gig place) was an australian couple that was travelling around eastern Europe so we sat down and talked with them before the concert. During the show I, who had started getting a little dizzy thanks to the vodka, accidently spilled my vodka grog over an electrical cord box which caused the microphone to become charged. Micke got himself a couple of pretty mean shocks during the show and complaioned afterwards over a numb arm. I don´t know if it was due to the shocks or the booze that Micke got all strange after the show and ran around screaming Hammarby chants and sprinkling cherry wine all around the place, something that frightened the Poles alot. Later he calmed down and fell asleep quietly in a corner of the room. We others stayed upp drinking all night and the Vodkaman looked sour since we didn´t give him vodka but apart from that the night was pretty calm.

Day 7

By lunch we got on the road to Wroclaw that was the next place on our intense tour schedule. When we got there we were for the first time on the tour treated to a restaurant lunch by the owner, at a vegetarian restaurant but it was pretty good anyway. The concert was at a club called Rocker and the place was packed. After the concert we, with Toxic Bonkers drummer behind the wheel drove to a Magnus Uggla look-a-like where we were gonna sleep. To step into his apartment was like stepping into a library, thousands of books high and low. Uggla was a deep one who studied philosophy on the University. Micke went to bed at once since he thought it was time to take it calm, he had puked blood earlier the same night. Dahlberg made a questionable trade with Uggla by trading a Distortion to Hell CD for a worn out vinyl by the obscure Polish punk band MOSKVA.

Day 8

Most of us, but not all, jumped on the opportunity to take a morning shower, the first on the tour. Toxic Bonkers driver, a 50 year old drunken man who was part of their minibus rent was still too drunk to drive. He had forced Uggla up at 5 o´ clock in the morning to buy more vodka so that he would be able to drive, the result was quite the opposite. We in the Dissober crew said bye to Uggla and got on the road to Poznan. Poznan was a prime example of a really dirty Polish industrialtown, factorychimneys everywhere and the minibus got all sooty due to all the pollution. After some trouble we found the way to the concert place, a squat, and the obligatory vodka drinking could start. The gig was in an icecold garage next to the squat and the peak of the show was when Dahlberg lost his balance, stumbled across the stage and fell into the drum kit before a very amused Polish crowd. After the show there was a party as always and myself I got the shivers and had to go to bed early for once.

Day 9

The day started with that one of the squats all cats pissed on Koskinens sleepingbag, something that made us all merry. When Koskinen had dried his sleepingbag we steered the bus towards Bydgoszcz and the last gig on the tour. In Bydgoszcz we went down to the centrum and went to eat at McDonalds, something that made the politically correct Bart so furious that he left us alone in a foreign city. We managed to get back to the concert place anyway and we met a very regretful Bart that apologized for his behaviour. Since we´re not resentful we said that it was ok. When I went to one of the clubs two toilets for a piss I became aware of that the toilets were mainly used for pot smoking, pissing was something you did outside the club. When Dissober was about to start playing Dahlberg was so drunk that he couldn´t tune his guitar so it all ended with that the Toxic Bonkers guitarplayer had to get up onstage and tune it for him and roars of laughter was heard from the audience. The concert was a worthy conclusion to a very successful tour. Alot of people, all of them going nuts and Bart, Vodkaman, Toxic Bonkers and their driver got up onstage to fill in on the chorus to "Sober Life No Way". Originally it was said that we should sleep in the same house as the concert but Micke had met two girls who according to him was "the best looking in the entire Europe !" and he kept on nagging so much so that we and Toxic Bonkers had to go home to them instead. Toxic Bonkers driver was very drunk as normal and the drive to their place was a real nightmare. The drive was in well over 100 km/h in central Bydgoszcz and in one crossing he blinked to the right and drove the the left and it was a miracle that they got there in one piece. Me, Dahlberg and Forsberg went to bed early since we had to get up at 6 o´ clock the morning after. The others, with Micke in the front, stayed up and continued to work on the girls all night with no result. Despite persistent thrusts from the desperate touring crew the Polish girls showed no interest.

Day 10

Journey home. It was a shabby touring crew that got into the minibus to drive to the ferry and home to Sweden. Halfways to the boat the bus started coughing and run bad so we had to creep forward in 50 km/h. We got onboard the ferry anyway and when we drove off it in Ystad the bus had recovered and we could drive normally again. But around Jönköping the bus started coughing again and once again we had to drive 50 km/h. When we got up on the E18 between Örebro and Arboga the bus broke down totally and we couldn´t drive on. There wasn´t much else to do than call a tow truck and at 6.30 on the monday morning we and our dirty bus were towed up on the parking lot of the car rental place.

Summary:

All in all it was a very nice trip. The people in Poland were very kind, the prices were low and the interest for punk and hardcore was very big. If you play in a band and get the opportunity to go down to Poland, don´t hesitate to take the chance. You won´t be dissapointed !

Written down by Claes "Classe" Danielsson, official Dissober driver. Translated by Magnus Forsberg

[HoboRec]

Sixties... tycker nog det är lite fusk att klistra in en hel dagbok på ett bräde. Anekdoter skulle det ju vara 😉

Vi spelade även i Vitryssland i somras. Det var sjukt coolt. Att komma in i landet var en barnlek. Tog lite tid men inget tjafs. Vi anlände i Brest som ligger precis vid gränsen till Polen och mötte upp med en av arrangörerna. Han åkte med i bilen och visade vart vi skulle. Vi åkte ut ur stan, svängde av in på en mindre landsväg, svängde av landsvägen in på en grus/sandväg. Efter en stunds åkande kom vi fram till en sjö där det stod ett stort gäng ungdomar med tvåliters ölflaskor i nävarna. Vi var tydligen inte riktigt framme ännu, utan skulle köra runt sjön och ut en bit i skogen. Arrangören pekade på en liten stig som gick in i skogen och sa att vi skulle spela "där inne". Vi gick in i skogen och funderade lite på vilka organ vi kunde tänkas bli av med först. Vi väntade oss någon slags hus men det kom inte. Istället fanns en presenning uppspänd mellan två träd och ett dieselaggregat bakom ett annat. Gänget vi nyss kört förbi hade nu kommit ikapp och hjälpte oss att böra in vår backline i skogen och fick allt uppriggat snabbt och smidigt. Anledningen till att spelningen var ute i skogen var att det är olagligt med punkspelningar i Vitrysslands och där långt ute i skogen var det inte lika stor risk att polisen skulle komma och arrestera folk. Även om det var mitt ute i ingenstans utan bussförbindelser eller liknande dök det upp strax över 200 pers. Det var totalt kaos där i skogen. Folk klätrade upp i träden och stagedivade och man kände marken svikta av öset. Vi fick 1,5 miljoner i gage också. Lukasjenko är fantastisk på det här med statsekonomi 😉

Redigerat 18 september 2011 av Fnulf

[G Bango]

1,5 mille svenska kronor?!!

[HoboRec]

Nej 1,5 miljoner euro!

hehe, 1,5 mille vitryska såklart. Vilket är typ 1000-1500 svenska. Tycker det är bra gjort av herr Alexander att lyckas med den inflationen.

[oioioi]

What happens on tour stays on tour.

Inga detaljer, men ordningsmakt och/eller tull har varit inblandade i Sverige, Finland, Tyskland och USA. Och i de fall de inte varit inblandade har nog mest varit tur från vår sida.

En rolig anekdot är när min kompis med band spelade i Sydamerika någonstans. När de kom tillbaka till hotellet där de bodde visade det sig att en del var stulet. Något naivt kontaktade de polisen som kom dit och undersökte. När polisen åkt var allt stulet.